5 Ways to Find Your Voice & Finally Speak Up for Yourself

You are worthy of being heard.

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I can’t say that. It might upset them.

I don’t want to rock the boat. I might end up alone.

I can’t speak up for myself. I must keep others happy.

I don’t feel heard. I must be seen and not heard.

I don’t feel understood. I’m too out there so I best keep quiet.

I can’t say no. I have to help them.

Have you ever said any of the above?

These were all true for me. As a chronic people pleaser and fixer.

I was putting everyone before myself. I never said what I really thought for fear of upsetting people or having them not like me.

I suffered a trauma and had PTSD. Yet I couldn’t tell anyone until 18 months after it happened.

I wanted to tell someone so many times. But I could not find my voice.

I couldn’t find my voice to speak up for myself.

I couldn’t find my voice to say what I needed.

I couldn’t find my voice to set and reinforce my boundaries. I had none.

I had closed my heart. And my voice wouldn’t come out.

I have spent so many years finding my voice. And now at 32 years old I’ve found it!

How did I find it?

I started slowly.

1. Listen to yourself, allow yourself to feel and say what you really think to yourself.

Everything starts on the inside. So, part of the problem was that I was ignoring myself. I wasn’t listening to my inner voice.

To change this, I started saying how I really felt without judging myself. I would say: ‘I feel sad and angry. And I love that.’

When we can honour ourselves and how we are really feeling. And love it all. Just allow the feelings to come out without judgement.

It allows us to accept them and then we can transform them. And transcend or move beyond them.
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2. Have a conversation with the person who is challenging you — in your head!

I was forever scared to rock the boat as I had a deep-rooted fear that I would be rejected and end up alone. Yet I would end up angry and resentful as the emotions were stuck inside.

I didn’t know how to express myself authentically. And people aren’t mind readers so unless we communicate from our hearts they don’t know what’s really going on.

This is usually a protection mechanism to keep us ‘safe’ but it prevents you from really developing your relationships and connecting to others on a deeper level. It keeps others at arm’s length. As we’re too scared to be open and vulnerable when it really matters.

One way to get the energy flowing, yet avoid starting world war 3 is to have a conversation in your head or aloud by imagining the person/people in front of you. This is great for resolving even long-standing conflicts or disagreements. I’ve used this with family members and my clients love it too.

Imagining the person in front of you, say what you need to say in a loving way, say everything you want to say even if it’s harsh. Honour yourself and your feelings. Speak your truth.

Then imagine the person in front of you hearing you and give them a big hug. Wrap yourself and them in blue light and imagine things resolving.

This technique enables you to let go of your emotions and process how you are really feeling. It gets the energy moving and makes it much easier to move things forwards. The other person will ‘know’ what you have said! Try it and let me know how you get on!
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3. Re-connect with yourself and reinforce your boundaries with yourself.

I struggled to say no partly because I had very poor boundaries with myself. I didn’t value my time or my gifts or my energy. I was giving it all away. So, I needed to change on the inside. I started to respect myself. I put in place boundaries that enabled me to respect myself and my energy.

This made it easier for me to set boundaries and start saying ‘no’ to those around me. I started saying ‘yes’ to myself. It was hard at first, but the more you do it the easier it becomes.

You are also giving those around you, permission to set and reinforce their own boundaries. They start living more authentically too. You’re doing less of what you feel you ‘should’ or ‘have’ to do. And you can be more present and focused when you do things you want to do.
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4. Stop Giving your power away and stand in your truth.

I would worry so much about what others thought of me that I wouldn’t say what I really thought for fear of judgment. I was giving my power away to other people’s opinions of me. I was also judging myself harshly.

You are what you love, not what loves you. Once I realised this and stepped into my own power, I found that I cared less about what people thought of me. And I was able to show up more authentically in my life and business.

I stop being frozen in fear. And started speaking up for myself and offering my opinions. I stood firmly in my truth and started to radiate it out. We don’t always have to say it, just being it can be enough.
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5. Be lovingly assertive.

We often think that disagreeing with someone or sharing how we really feel is not a nice thing to do. Yes, sometimes telling the truth or being honest can be uncomfortable.

However, we don’t have to be horrible to be assertive about our needs and what we want. Just be sure to own your feelings and take responsibility for them.

Say: ‘I feel….’ Rather than ‘You make me feel/you are….’ –When you own your feelings and lovingly say what you need and what works for you. It opens the channels of communication and creates space for the other person/s, to speak their truth and for you to really connect on a deeper level.
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Finding your voice takes time but it’s worth it

It’s time to trust yourself and start listening to your inner voice. Be kind and gentle with yourself, as it will take practice to start speaking up for yourself. It is scary at first but the more you do it the easier it becomes.

It’s like going to the gym to improve your body, the first day and even few weeks are hard, but it gets easier and more enjoyable.

Take time to look inside and see where you need to let go of beliefs or do something differently — listen to yourself, set boundaries with yourself and acknowledge you are powerful beyond belief.

Finally, know yourself.

Love Claire xxx

 

P.S. If you want to clear your energy, re-balance your chakras and transform your life from the inside out, just message me or book a Chakra Alignment & Energy Clearing Session here:  https://www.paypal.me/claireelliottco/69 .

 

P.P.S Want help building your confidence so you can speak your truth and stand up for yourself and your beliefs? Email me: claire@claireelliott.co .

It’s Time to Dance with The Universe. Are You Ready?

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You are enough.

You are on the right track.

Everything you’ve been through was meant to happen because it did.

All of it was preparing you for right now.

Let go of any guilt about the past. Let go of any judgement.

You did the best you could and that’s enough.

In fact, you are more than enough because you are.

Be kind towards yourself.

As when you snuggle more closely with yourself and show yourself love and compassion.

You are also snuggling more closely with your Creator.

And bringing more love and light into your inner world. This is then reflected back at you in the world around you.

Stay in the present moment. It’s the only moment we have.

Drop into your heart often. Leave your mind and thoughts, expectations and ‘should’s outside.

Come inside. Know yourself.

It’s time to rise up and honour your inner force.

It’s time to Dance with The Universe.

It’s time to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. And share them with the world.

It’s time to walk your talk and lead by example. Take charge.

Your consciousness is expanding.

Steps are being given to you. You are being guided and supported every step of the way.

To show up as you really are in your life and business.

You are making steady progress. So it’s time to trust the process.

Enjoy the journey. Know you are an infinite being. Do not let anyone else define you.

Know you are powerful beyond belief.

Know yourself as a creator.

Know yourself as love.

Be in the moment.

Be okay with where you are right now.

Give up the fight and stop trying to be somewhere else.

Let go of your resistance.

Be where you are.

That’s all you need to do. The rest will follow.

Love Claire xxx

 

P.S. If you want to clear your energy, re-balance your chakras and transform your life from the inside out, just message me or book a Chakra Alignment & Energy Clearing Session here:  https://www.paypal.me/claireelliottco/69 .

P.P.S. I have undergone a huge spiritual awakening this year. And this is the first ‘download’ I have shared. Want more? Let me know below.

How to Get Out of Your Head & Show Up As the Real You.

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When you’re in your head and your mind is running away with you. It can be very hard to show up authentically.

You’re using so much of your energy trying to figure things out. And worrying about what might or might not happen. Then in comes another voice worrying about what others might think of you.

You’re stuck in your old story. And your mind is creating more stories and sabotaging you.

If you’re trying to figure out the ‘how’. Or if you want to know exactly what results will come in for you. Or you want a guarantee that things will turn out a certain way.

You are in your head and not allowing things to flow.

In fact, when we are in our heads it makes it super hard to show up in our lives as the person we really are.

There is just too much mind chatter going on. We’re thinking how we should be and limiting ourselves.

There is no space for us to just be.

If you find yourself in your head, trying to figure everything out and being who you think you should be.

STOP!

Breathe. And take a moment to drop down in to your heart.

 

<<<What does your heart say?>>>

When you drop into your heart and take time to listen. You’ll find the pressure is off. You know that you are not your limitations. You are not your old stories.

Gone is the need to know all the answers. Your limitations dissolve. You are love. You connect with yourself and step into who you truly are.

Dropping into your heart allows you to take a higher perspective and bring more love into every situation. Allowing the energy to start moving and your truth to come through.

 

<<<Give yourself permission to be where you are right now. >>>

So often we’re trying to get to somewhere other than where we are. We say to ourselves – when we do x,y, or z then we’ll be happy. Then we can relax…. We make our happiness dependent on conditions.

And you find yourself always rushing to the next thing and the next.

If you stop and make peace with where you are right now and accept everything as it is without judgement. You can then feel what you need to feel.

And really honour yourself and your emotions.

Acceptance allows the energy and situations to evolve naturally. As your resistance falls away.

<<<Give up the fight. >>>

When you stop fighting yourself and trying to be somewhere other than where you are. You can let go of all your expectations of how it should be, all your old stories and everything that no longer serves you.

We are not our limitations. Nor are we our circumstances. We are so much more.

We are infinitely powerful beings. And ending the fight allows you to relax. Trust. And move confidently forwards. Showing up in your life, fully in your heart and as who you really are.

 

<<<Your power lies in the now.>>>

The past is gone, the future is not yet here and the present moment is the only one we have.

When you focus on the now, and on the task at hand. You feel so much better. The mind calms right down and you find it easier to show up in the world fully in your own power.

When you focus on taking one step at a time, you’ll find the next step then shows itself to you. Without stressing, worrying or forcing. When you start allowing then things can flow.

Know you’re exactly where you’re meant to be right now.

 

<<<Who you are is just this moment. We are all love. >>>

Drop into your heart often. The more you can live in your heart, connect with yourself. The more you can let go of what no longer serves you. And move into your true potential.

Everything you need is already inside.

Love Claire xxx

 

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