8 Steps to End the Diet War & Make Peace with Food Forever

Eat Intuitively for a Healthier and Happier You.

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Are you angry at yourself for quitting your latest diet?

Do you feel like a failure or that you don’t have enough willpower?

Are you angry at yourself for overeating?

Or are you feeling bad about how you look or how much you weigh?

We’ve all been there – angry at ourselves for overeating, feeling like we have no willpower, giving up on yet another diet.

But we’re not the problem!

It’s the diet mentality with strict rules that are almost impossible to adhere to and that have stopped us from listening to our bodies.

What’s the answer?

Intuitive Eating

Eating intuitively is all about developing a peaceful, healthy and satisfying relationship with food, mind and body.

It enables us to end the fight against our bodies and food forever, by rebuilding a healthy body image and making peace with food.

How?

1.       Ditch the Diets & Strict Rules FOREVER:

Stop being sucked in by the ‘quick fixes’ and fad diets that say you can lose lots of weight super quickly and permanently.

You already know when you stop following the strict regime you gain it all back and feel rubbish. Decide to stop putting yourself and your body through the pain of dieting - for good. Diets don’t work.

2.       Honour your Hunger & Fullness Signals:

Start eating when you are hungry and stop when you are full. If you’re starving, you end up overeating as you’re driven to eat. Eat enough according to your appetite and activity levels.

Start tuning into your body and how full you are feeling throughout each meal. Learning to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you are full is the first step to trusting yourself again.

 

3.       Make Peace with Food & End the Judgements:

Decide to stop fighting yourself and food. Do not deny yourself anything. Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. When you tell yourself you’re not allowed a certain food, you tend to want it even more and leading to bingeing/ overeating. And the ensuing feelings of guilt.

There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods. You are not ‘bad’ or ‘good’ for eating/not eating foods.

Silence that voice inside of you (the Food Police) that makes you feel bad or guilty for eating or not eating. And that keeps you following strict regimes or rules.

By making peace with food, you’ll find you’re able to tune into your body, listen to those hunger& fullness signals and determine what you really need.

4.       Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy Your Food.

Take it one step further and allow yourself to really savour and enjoy your food. The experience of eating is supposed to be an enjoyable one. When you eat what you really want, in a nice environment you are able to relax, and find pleasure and satisfaction.

In fact, you often find you need less food to feel full. It’s about the whole experience of eating, food is meant to be enjoyed.

5.       Learn to Identify Emotional vs. Physical Hunger.

Are You Emotionally or Physically Hungry? Or are you sad, angry, lonely, anxious…?

When you identify and honour your feelings and allow yourself to feel them, you realise food won’t fix the issue. You can identify other ways to comfort and nurture yourself.

Identifying when you’re experiencing emotional vs. physical hunger, enables you to deal with any triggers and prevents the discomfort and guilt of overeating which doesn’t help at all.

6.       Accept & Love Yourself Completely as You Are.

When you love and respect your body and are realistic and compassionate towards it. You can reject the diet mentality.

People come in all different shapes and sizes. You can be healthy at every size.

Let go of any unrealistic expectations and stop that critical voice. Instead become your own best friend. Love and encourage yourself.

7.      Exercise To Feel Good & Get to Know Yourself.

Forget harsh or punitive exercise regimes just to lose weight. Instead, just get moving, find activities you enjoy and focus on how much better you feel after working out. Forget how many calories you’re burning.

Tune into your body and feel into what type of exercise, movement or rest you need. Think of taking good care of yourself and your inner child.

Get to know yourself and find activities and foods you like. Find your motivation – feeling more energised to run around with your children, to feel better… 

8.      Focus on Healthy Habits not How Much you Weigh.

Choose foods and activities that are nutritious and nurturing. Healthy habits are the key to good health. Healthy habits include eating your five a day, not smoking, drinking in moderation and exercising. When you’re choosing your health and listening to your body and what it needs you’ll find the weight takes care of itself anyway.

It’s about being healthy but also enjoying what you eat and how you live. It’s about a relaxed approach towards health and food. You don’t have to eat ‘perfectly’ to be healthy.

It’s all about a balanced diet and lifestyle and progress rather than perfection. Moderation in moderation (!) and listening to your body. No foods are banned.

It’s time to trust yourself and your intuition – you know what you need.

 

Intuitive Eating Leads to a Healthier & Happier You

Intuitive eating frees you from the diet mentality, helps you enjoy eating and develop a new and safe relationship with food and your body; enables you to feel your feelings without using food; and to honour your hunger and fullness.

All leading to a healthier, happier and more energised you.

If you do have any concerns about your health be sure to consult your doctor and beware of bogus diet/nutrition advice.

Let me know below one step you are going to take towards being kinder to yourself, making peace with food and/or ending the food fight.

Love Claire xx

P.S. If you need more help ditching the diets and making peace with food, check out my new 4-week Mind, Body & Spirit Replenishment Programme here.

P.P.S. Would you like to boost your confidence so you can feel better, step into your power and live life your way? Here is my gift to help you: ‘249 Affirmations for Unbreakable Confidence & Manifesting Magic.’

 

 

Why It’s Time to Feel How You Really Feel!

How to Remove the Mask of Perfection. And be Seen for Who You Really Are.

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Do you often hide how you really feel?

Do you try to be ‘happy’ all the time?

Do you follow the ‘Law of Attraction’ and never think ‘bad’ thoughts?

So many of us pretend all is well and plaster a smile on our faces.

When we’re really not okay.

Remove the Mask of Perfection & Allow Others to See Who You Really Are

You may have grown up feeling you should be ‘seen and not heard.’ Or perhaps you saw your mum always putting on a brave face and never letting on that anything was wrong.

You may have learnt that to get love you had to be happy all the time.

As an adult this makes it very hard for us to express ourselves. Coupled with all the talk about the ‘Law of Attraction and only thinking happy thoughts.

Not saying how we really feel, is something I and many of my clients do. It’s not just a British thing.

It could just be aiming for perfection, but I believe it goes deeper than that.

It’s a fear of being seen for who we really are.

Taking off the mask of perfection, means we might get hurt. Opening our hearts and being completely honest can leave us feeling very vulnerable.

But it’s the way we forge and strengthen connections in all our relationships, particularly with those closest to us.

Emotional Intelligence Is Vital For Good Health

It’s not possible to be positive all the time!! In fact, it’s just not healthy!

When we try to be positive all the time, we end up feeling congested emotionally and even physically too as we’re not expressing ourselves. We store tension and emotions in our bodies.

For example, you start coughing because you never say what you really think.

Or you get lots of headaches because you’re not listening to yourself, you can’t cope with the demands being made of you and you can’t say no. Your head is fighting to keep your heart quiet.

Or you start to feel anxious and even get constipated.

So, it’s vital if you want to be healthy that you allow yourself to feel all of your emotions.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Really Honest With Yourself and Others.

Now I’m not saying you must go around depressed and crying all the time. And you don’t have to spill your guts to the person next to you on the bus (unless you want to!).

But within our close relationships. It’s okay to be vulnerable and say how we really feel.

Most importantly to be honest with ourselves about how we really feel and about what’s really going on for us.

As when we allow our emotions to flow through us good and bad we find that everything starts to flow. We all experience a wide range of emotions. That is normal.

There Are No ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ Emotions

There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotions. Everything is valid. Everything is okay (provided we don’t act on them/hurt people/lash out etc.) We can acknowledge our emotions, feel them and then let them go.

It’s healthy to have a good cry, feel sad, lonely or to get angry. They are normal human reactions to things.

If you’re experiencing extreme reactions of course ask for help from a trusted friend, colleague, your doctor or a therapist.

You Don’t Have to ‘Think Happy Thoughts’ All the Time To Manifest Magic

We’ve been told for so long to be happy and positive. Think happy thoughts. And whilst this can help to a certain extent e.g. focusing on and being grateful for the good in our lives.

If you feel really low, focusing and trying super hard to be happy and control our thoughts actually makes us feel so much worse.

Been there. Done that.

It’s when you’re being true to yourself and to who you are that the Universe recognises we’re being authentic. Things start flowing in our lives and more of everything comes in.

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How To Start Feeling How You Really Feel:

Step 1: Be Honest With Yourself

This is often the hardest thing to do, but when you really admit how you really feel right now and allow yourself to feel, everything transforms.

What we can accept we can transform.

I suggest you start by saying out loud to yourself how you feel right now. ‘I feel angry, sad, disappointed, happy’…… Afterwards say: ‘AND I LOVE THAT.’ This is a phrase one of my mentors uses.

Because when we acknowledge where we really are without judgement, without resisting it and we fully accept it. We can start where we are, we’re no longer fighting ourselves or what is, and everything starts flowing.

Step 2: Release Any Emotions That Want To Come Out

Give yourself permission to have a good cry or shout into a pillow or sing at the top of your lungs. Let out your emotions in a safe way. Be sad, be angry, be disappointed, be scared, be frustrated. Also be excited….Feel all of your emotions. They’re all okay.

You may find that getting out in nature, running, writing, talking to a friend, singing or exercising can also provide a good release of pent up energy and emotions.

Find what works for you.

Step 3: Be Honest With Those Closest to You and Ask For Help

One you’ve admitted to yourself how you really feel and let some of the emotions go you can open up conversations with those closest to you. You’ll have released some of the pent-up energy and be able to have a calmer, more authentic conversation.

Or if you’ve found it hard to identify how you’re feeling you can ask a trusted person for help.

Next time your friend or partner asks how you are you tell them 100% honestly exactly how you are feeling. Without judgement. Just say what’s really going on for you: ‘I feel…..’

When you talk to the other person you can get them to prompt you to say ‘And I Love That’.

Step 4: Honour Yourself and Your Needs Within Your Natural Cycles

We all experiences times in our lives when we’re up and times when we’re down. Our energy ebbs and flows. And it’s perfectly normal.

Honour these cycles and be okay with them. Women often find that their energy goes up and down with their monthly cycle. Allow your emotions to flow too.

Know yourself and what you need. Honour yourself and your needs — take time out, ask for support and rest when you need to. Take time to do your inner work and heal when you need to.

Feel how you really feel without judgement.

Feel How You Really Feel To Get Unstuck And Feel Better

When you own your feelings you can then acknowledge, accept, feel and release them. This frees up any stuck energy and gets things moving forwards in all areas of your life.

You’ll find aches and pains and illnesses resolve too. Obviously speak to your doctor or a therapist if you have any concerns about your emotional, mental or physical health.

When you honour yourself and your feelings, you’ll feel healthier, happier and more energised.

So how do you really feel right now?

Love Claire xx

P.S. Would you like to boost your confidence so you can feel better, step into your power and live life your way? Here is my gift to help you: ‘249 Affirmations for Unbreakable Confidence & Manifesting Magic.’

Are You Asking Yourself The Right Questions?

Ask Better Questions To Feel Better.

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How good we feel about our lives is not necessarily based on what we’re going through or the circumstances we find ourselves in.

It’s based on our internal filters that determine how we see the outside world.

For example, some people see the glass as half empty and others see the glass as half full.

That’s because we’ve formed filters based on our past experiences, our culture, race, religion, values.

So we all have different filters and see the same things differently….

We then tell ourselves stories about who we think we are, what type of person we are, what is possible for us and so on.

Tony Robbins says: ‘Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions and as a result they get better answers.’

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Rubbish Questions = Rubbish Answers = Feeling Rubbish

If we’re asking: ‘Why me?!’ Or ‘Why does this always happen to me?!’

Or if the story we’re telling ourselves is that we’re ‘too shy’, ‘have no confidence’, we’re ‘bad in social situations’, ‘can’t find a good man’, ‘all the good women are taken’, I ‘don’t have enough money’…. We don’t feel very good.

Ask Better Questions to Feel Better

A great way to start seeing things differently and freshening up our perspective is to start asking ourselves better questions.

For example:

‘Why don’t I?!

Is a much more empowering question, rather than: ‘Why can’t I?!’

Here are some more examples:

Ask: ‘What can I do today to add value to the world today?’
Rather than: ‘What can I get if I do x, y or z?’

Ask: ‘How can I be of service or what do I have to offer to others?’

Rather than: ‘How can I make more money?’

Ask: ‘What is this situation teaching me?’ 
Rather than: ‘Why does this always happen to me?’

Ask: ‘Why don’t I eat more healthily?’ 
Rather than: ‘Why can’t I stop eating rubbish?’

Ask: ‘Why don’t I ask for help?’
Rather than: ‘Why can’t anyone help me?’

Please share any of your own below!

Take Responsibility For Yourself And Your Life.

When you start asking better questions, you’ll stop being a victim and start taking responsibility for yourself and your life.

It’s a much more empowering way to talk to ourselves.

Coupled with compassion and kindness towards ourselves.

You will feel better every day.

You’ll feel more in control of what’s happening to you, rather than feeling like a victim of your circumstances.

And you’ll feel happier too, knowing that you are creating new and empowering stories for yourself.

Enabling you to look at things differently, so you can find new solutions and continue to grow.

And you’ll be transforming your life from the inside out.

As within so without.

It’s time to create a new story about yourself.

Love Claire xxx

P.s. What is one new empowering question you are going to start asking yourself today? Let me know below.

P.P.S. Would you like to boost your confidence so you can feel better, step into your power and live life your way? Here is my gift to help you: ‘249 Affirmations for Unbreakable Confidence & Manifesting Magic.’

How To Be More Authentic In Your Relationships

Get a weight off your chest. Speak up with love and be heard.

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Are you always trying to avoid conflict? 

Are you constantly keeping the peace? 

Or are you walking on egg shells?

If so you’re probably not saying what you really think and you’re avoiding difficult conversations.

But then something small happens and it tips you over the edge?

Then everything blows up, and things are said that you can’t take back.

Then the cycle repeats.

You need to learn to communicate more authentically. And end the power struggle.

How?

It’s time to start saying how you really feel often.

It’s not about being horrible.

It’s not about placing the blame.

It’s not about judgement.

It’s about honouring yourself and your needs. 

And the needs of the other party too.

What do you really need?

You can say how you feel with love. Starting by owning your feelings.

Say: ‘I feel angry/upset etc’, rather than: ‘You make me feel x y z’.

Take time to connect with yourself and determine what it is that you really need.

As for the other person/s to understand us and to meet our needs. We need to be clear on our needs first.

Then we can communicate them and the other person/s can choose to meet them or not.

You can be lovingly assertive. But first you need to know yourself.

Know your boundaries. What do you need? What does or doesn’t work for you?

Take time to journal or speak with an enlightened person (Someone who won’t encourage you to point the finger or place blame on either party).

Who will help you to come back to you. To look inside at what’s really going on.

To take responsibility for yourself and your feelings. And examine the part you’re playing in the relationship. Without judgement.

Just looking at where you really are. And at what is really going on.

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Taking time to reflect & Do you inner work

Firm up your boundaries with yourself and see if there is anything that you need to heal.

If you’re constantly being triggered, or the same issue keeps arising repeatedly.

Be willing to go inside and look at what you may need to heal in you.

For example, not feeling heard by the other person. You might have felt like you were seen and not heard as a child and you’ll need to heal that belief, otherwise it will keep repeating.

Everyone is our reflection. So it’s important that if you want more love, you love yourself more. If you want to trust others, you must first trust yourself.

When you value your time, yourself and your energy others will too as this is then reflected back at us.

As within so without.

Talk Often To Keep the Energy Flowing

Talking often can help as if feelings are aired or little disagreements happen regularly, it avoids everything blowing up.

You can feel the friction/underlying anger/upset etc anyway. Better to get it out and resolved.

When communicate your needs often with love. And encourage the other person to do the same, you can create a win-win situation, where both parties are happy.

Get a weight off your chest. Speak up with love and be heard.

It’s not just about you speaking up and being heard but about the other person too.

Practising active listening can be a great way to ensure you both feel heard.

As so often we listen only with the intention to respond. Instead, really listen to what the other person is saying, and summarise it back to them to make sure you’ve understood properly.

You’ll both feel heard and understood. Enabling you to find a win-win solution much more easily.

Know You Are Powerful

Know that you are powerful beyond belief and end the power struggle. It’s that simple. When you both acknowledge your own power and stop fighting each other for it, the power struggle dissolves.

Know what you need and that you are worthy and deserving of having your needs met.

Love Claire xxx

Are you Acting From Fear or Love?

Moving from Fear to Love Resolves Conflicts & Restores Harmony

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In everything we do we are either acting out of fear or love.

Acting out of Fear Invites in Struggle

When we’re acting out of fear, it means we’re thinking what can we get, we need something. We’re in lack.

We’re thinking we’re not enough unless we get a desired outcome. This isn’t a good way to feel as we’re place our happiness outside of us.

You may then find yourself trying to justify or defend your actions or your truth, which can lead to conflicts.

You often end up with a power struggle in your relationships. You also attract more lack and fear-based people who believe in competition and who trigger you These people are actually teaching you to act from a place of love.

 

Acting from Love Resolves Conflicts and Ends Power Struggles

When you act from a place of love, you are transcending your fears.

You are acting from your heart and freely expressing what is inside of you.

You acknowledge that you are already enough and you’re focusing on what you can give and how you can be of service rather than what can I get.

You recognise that you are enough as you are.

When you stop justifying or defending yourself, conflicts dissolve.

When you truly let go and allow, you’re coming from a place of love.

You’re no longer here to prove yourself to others. 

Instead you approve of yourself.

Then it doesn’t matter what others think of you. You have taken your power back.

Any power struggles end because you already acknowledge you are powerful beyond belief.

You are love.

You realise you already have everything you need, and nothing is missing.

Then you can shine more brightly and bring your light and love to others.

Know that the universe has your back. And everything is always working out for you.

This is what’s possible when you come from a place of love rather than fear.

Let go of Perfection and Embrace Who You Are

I also wanted to share a quick quote from Brene on perfection. As perfection can involve acting from a place of lack and fear. Particularly, a fear of not being good enough and feeling like we have something to prove.

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” 
 ― Brené Brown

So let go of perfection. And acknowledge that you are perfectly imperfect! Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. 

Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect all the time. 

Allow yourself space to breathe. And start painting a new picture.

Be okay with where you are. 

Be okay with who you are. 

Be okay with how you really feel.

Allow all your emotions to move through you.

You are enough.

Be bold. 

Be brave. 

Be you.

Love is an inside job.

Brene Brown has done a lot of research into shame, vulnerability and more. Her book Daring Greatly is a fabulous read as are all her books.

Here is one final quote:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
 
 Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them — we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
 
 Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
 
 Brené Brown

So love yourself the most to transform your life from the inside out. Know that you are love. And you are powerful beyond belief.

Act from love and not from fear. Approve of yourself and know you are enough already.

I’d love to know are you acting from love of fear? Where in your life can you act more from love?

Love Claire xxx

 

P.S. If you want help moving from fear to love so you can transform your life from the inside out, email: claire@claireelliott.co or book a session here: www.paypal.me/claireelliottco/79